In school, I learned that alcohol is a depressant. And that Asians are more likely to get red than others. I drank red wine the other night, and for some reason the sole of my feet were incredibly red and itchy.

My friend also mentioned that Chinese families tend to more often wrap their remote controls in plastic to prevent grease stains.

I still haven’t removed the cellophane wrapped adhesively around myself to protect the warrantee by being untouched.

Men? Who am I?

-patrick

No matter what tool you use to dust, there is absolutely no reason to apply it until ten to twenty minutes before you plan on cleaning the floors. That gives the dust time to settle onto the next surface to be cleaned, but not enough time to be kicked back up into the air. Even basic statistical analysis will show, definitively, that the only logical approach to this area of house cleaning is: dust, sip a glass of beer, vacuum. It’s important to have the beer in a glass, so the escaping carbonation can help keep the settling dust out of your lungs. It’s also important to have another glass of beer after vacuuming since, face it, no vacuum cleaner is perfect and some dust will be kicked up into the air. At times, it’s manly to be safe rather than sorry

Mister Manly