A Presentation Without Gel, Comb, Nor Towel

Upcoming presentation in a matter of minutes. Bladder. Need to empty beforehand or risk requesting a sudden exit and interruption later on. Worse yet, risk increasing the humidity with an embarrassment down there.

Okay, now in washroom. Feels good. Takes care of that. Rehearse, breathe. Yes, damn, check appearance. Looks horrible. What a disaster. Wait. Hygiene first. Wash hands, get them ready for shaking. Scrub. Nervous. Scrub more.

Okay, time is of the essence now. Got to go. Wait. Forgot appearance. Presentation important. What to do with this rebellious hair. Hair spray. Yes, no. Hair gel, yes, no! Forgot them both. Damn. Hands, dripping wet. In no condition for shaking. Towels…what? Out of stock, of course, in this washroom. Use the hands dryer. No. All of them taken. Got to go now. Out the door.

Everything good. Dry. Man. A man. What happened between this calmly assured state now and the utter chaos and panic in the washroom? The time difference was less than 10 seconds! These are the moments that require an effective short cut. Hands dripping wet, needed to dry. Hair uncombed. Use hair as towel, use hands as comb. Also need luck with short cuts. Yesterday, no shower. Hair slightly sticky. Therefore, more amenable with hand as comb. It holds.

So stupid, so ridiculous. Who thinks of this? It requires no thinking and here it’s presented with such foolish elaboration. Feels like an entire presentation was already conducted with all this energy expenditure without even beginning. Maybe that’s just it?

-Patrick Law

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3 Comments

Filed under Short Cuts

3 responses to “A Presentation Without Gel, Comb, Nor Towel

  1. Whew! I’m glad you made it through that. I know public speaking is one of the top phobias. I have never seen sheer terror like I observed in college speech classes. I get a real rush from speaking or storytelling in front of a crowd. Yeah, I’m a bit weird. Today I actually sang in front of a crowd for an hour and a half…that makes me a bit nervous, but not too bad. Guess I’m a ham. Nice job making me feel what you feel.

  2. I’m not sure that the person made it through that. Maybe made it through the washroom, and we wonder what the audience in the stalls were thinking as they witnessed it all.

    But perhaps, like you, even in the absurd scenario, there was a story to be told, and a rush was felt. Perhaps. I’m sure the person eventually wants to graduate to singing in front of expecting crowds (don’t know how you do it), but now is warming up by presenting in places where people don’t even know they’re being presented to.

  3. Pingback: Hairstyling as a Method of Time Travel « Procrastination Post

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