This is Pierce again. I’ve been away and acting more urgently lately. But instead of pride from accomplishment, I’m left feeling a bit remorseful and worried. It seems that it takes people to be in bad health in order to get me to act. While this shows that I am willing to drop things and immediately react and focus my priorities on those who are not feeling well, I sometimes wonder.
What message does this send to the others? That I only tend to them when something is wrong? That it takes an injury, illness, being under the weather, or other signs of distress, before I look their way? It is some kind of unfortunate. It doesn’t leave much room for a mood of sunshine to sneak through the cracks, does it?
And not unscathed are times when everyone is in good health. Even during these moments the atmosphere has a kind of absurd pall over it. These are the effects I create. People are scared to be happy, to be their normal selves, because nothing gets done, no attention is paid, during these scenarios. Yet when they start getting aches and pains, depression, start to not be able to make it up that hill, I come running.
Am I, in fact, in my selective procrastination, or my selective and biased recovery from procrastination… am I simply providing fertile ground and reinforcement for malingering?