Tag Archives: philosophy

Silence Does Not Mean Assumed ‘Procrastination’

I am sorry. Since starting this “Procrastination Post” blog, in its current form, this has been the longest lag in between writings. I guess with the up front, obvious title of the blog, it already contains a ready made excuse for the gaps. Maybe it sets up the dismal expectation to expect many intervals of stunted growth, regression, stops and starts, and in inordinate number of apologies.

Sorry, I am not going to apologize, and I cannot accept our ‘Procrastination’ title as a motive to provide a convenient reason and acceptance of failure that is inevitable. I cannot. It’s as if we purposely put this label in bold font right out front, carrying placards to set the bar real low in order to minimize the impact from the fall when we trip.

No. I must insist that it is to the contrary of all these assumptions. It is to show, explore, consider what value can come out of digging ourselves out of the hideous hole we started with. And that we refuse to accept our predicament and struggle even more desperately to fight and climb. And that we will write to reflect light on another side of our world underneath. Our label is not something to trip over, step on, nor to foreshadow a message of upcoming weakness and disappointment.

And if I am, in fact, simply incriminating myself in this latest post and providing more evidence to fuel previous assumptions, then at least we can still be the prosecutors of our own guilt.

Thanks for your patience over past couple of weeks, knowing that even while we are silent, we are still writing and digging even more profusely than what can be sighted here.

-pat

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Telling Lies in the Hope that They’ll Soon Be True…

Lies. After hearing this word, or being a victim of them, or having them come out of your own mouth, how do you feel? What feelings are associated with not telling the exact truth? Chances are, just naturally, they tend to lean towards the negative end of the spectrum. Even without knowing the complete story, we usually do not take kindly to lies and have an unflattering impression of the person doing the lying. These reactions don’t allow us to consider potential underlying reasons that the person has for stretching the truth. This information could prove valuable to better understand the other person and may even be turned into positive use.

That’s why I found refreshing the Globe and Mail article that offered another perspective and interpretation on reasons why people may lie or exaggerate. I particularly found enlightening one suggestion about how “lies” could actually reflect what the person is trying to achieve, or a goal to be obtained.

The article helped remind me not to jump on somebody, and too quickly form a negative impression of someone, when they lie. It gave me insight on how lying can be seen as part of the process towards something and that we should think of ways on how it can motivate.

With this in mind, would you be willing to forgive and understand some of the lies and exaggerations I’ve provided on various sections of this blog? Heheheh…..

-Patrick Law

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How Procrastination is Communicated Through Illness

This is Pierce again. I’ve been away and acting more urgently lately. But instead of pride from accomplishment, I’m left feeling a bit remorseful and worried. It seems that it takes people to be in bad health in order to get me to act. While this shows that I am willing to drop things and immediately react and focus my priorities on those who are not feeling well, I sometimes wonder.

What message does this send to the others? That I only tend to them when something is wrong? That it takes an injury, illness, being under the weather, or other signs of distress, before I look their way? It is some kind of unfortunate. It doesn’t leave much room for a mood of sunshine to sneak through the cracks, does it?

And not unscathed are times when everyone is in good health. Even during these moments the atmosphere has a kind of absurd pall over it. These are the effects I create. People are scared to be happy, to be their normal selves, because nothing gets done, no attention is paid, during these scenarios. Yet when they start getting aches and pains, depression, start to not be able to make it up that hill, I come running.

Am I, in fact, in my selective procrastination, or my selective and biased recovery from procrastination… am I simply providing fertile ground and reinforcement for malingering?

-Pierce

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Illusion of Flexibility?

The cat just doesn’t complain. She doesn’t look depressed. Year after year, the time spent by the humans in the home with the cat diminishes, yet you’ll never notice this slight if you ask the cat. As time increasingly becomes tight, and more and more things get put off, quality time with the cat seems to be always a top candidate for something that can be done tomorrow, or the next day, or the next next day, or whenever.

Litter not done nightly; her teeth not brushed daily; Felaxin not given frequently enough; brushing not regular; and research on the psychology of cats has not been consistent or up-to-date with the latest literature.

Yet, after all this, the cat has yet to ignore me, or conduct revenge, or dig her claws into my back and twist. Instead, she’s more enthusiastic and joyful around me than ever. Though I’ve reduced my physical contact time with her, I can hear her loud acrobatics in the basement while I’m working upstairs.

While I believe that my procrastination habits have led me to cut short cat time, the cat seems to have interpreted it differently, at least from what I could read from her behavior. It’s as if the cat thinks I’m purposely reducing our play time in order to benefit her. Instead of not spending enough time, she sees it as focusing our time together and making it more intense. Do you notice how cats think that every change around the home is made with them in mind? You move a location of a chair, and the cat will sit on it thinking that was your intention.

In my case, the cat thinks this time change means she has to put more value into the resulting minimal time that is chosen, and she shows this in her attitude, play, and purposeful strides.

It would be easy, a bit sappy, to just conclude with how I can learn so much from the cat and that I should be more like my cat. But, I can’t help but think, with my cat’s unequivocal forgiveness and flexibility, does this actually make me more complacent as I continue to lie in the tanning bed of procrastination procuring potential benefits?

At the other extreme, I could try making it all up to her, rather absurdly, by going jogging with the cat tomorrow morning.

-pat

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Meditation That Makes Us Heavy

Ever wondered how sometimes when not exercising for awhile, you still manage to keep off the pounds despite not cutting down on the number servings or serving sizes? Yes, some may have a naturally high metabolic rate, but perhaps many use a short cut?

They sit, and work, and intensely stress. Do you think it’s possible? To sit at your desk, fret, and think, over-think, so excruciatingly that calories are burnt just from considerations of the mind and all the associated possible contingencies?

Maybe this is not such a short cut. It may, in fact, take a great amount of work and effort to be able to generate such forces at your desk to be able to drain so much out of your system. But, next time you skip a workout because of the mental toll you put yourself through during the day, can this be a convenient excuse or rationale that you actually did put yourself through the sweat shop with a little bit of imagination.

I think I’m starting to understand through writing out these processes of short cuts. Trying to spend time devising up these plans actually take longer than the original act I am trying to short cut. While it potentially could burn more calories, we can say the same about death and its ability to make us lose weight.

Ironically, this variant of meditation is kind of heavy.

It’s probably time for a new criteria.

-Patrick Law

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Pushing Against the Weight of Comfort

After reading electrongasman’s comments to a previous interview on procrastination, some images suddenly popped into my mind. Perhaps they are metaphors? Maybe pictorial representations of the procrastination themes and struggles? Of course it’s open to interpretation, and I’m not even sure myself, but I’ll give it a try even though words may fall short of what I’m seeing.

There’s a boulder out yonder. It’s a hot and humid day. Within the vicinity, many people are kind of wandering around aimlessly. Suddenly, a particular person approaches the boulder and starts to lean on it. Oh gosh, that looks so good.

Within minutes this posture starts to draw the attention of the wanderers. It looks so relaxing, so comforting. Then 2, 4, 7, a countless number, took up the leaning position with sighs of immense relief when reaching the most desirable degree of recline.

And so it goes like this as time passes. And the time did pass, as evident by the distant position change of the sun. Still no movement, no stirring, as if life is more than momentarily forgotten. Not true, not true, not true. Someone moves. Maybe not yet in body, but certainly in mind. Somebody thinks about the stiffness of it all and has a small inkling to push. Just a small one. This thought is quickly quashed when considering the immense weight of the boulder itself, combined with all these people leaning against it. The person decides against pushing.

Incredible stiffness. Somebody goes beyond an inkling and into a strong urge, desire, a constant pulling to push. No. The impossibility of the potential results in only a slight repositioning of the current pose, nothing of significance. In fact, more than a few people want to push, but dreams seem to die whenever one steals a glance at a neighbour.

Finally. Finally. Finally. Someone has the vocabulary ‘catatonic’ in mind and instantly ignores whatever else and, my gosh, pushes. Oh gosh! What heaviness! The excruciating pain on the pushing person’s face! The agony! The hopelessness as all the efforts did not even register to those still leaning. The boulder remains inert and, if anything, moves slightly backward against the pusher, as if rebelling or conforming…I don’t know which.

However, all that pain, despair, and oncoming feelings of regret, just as quickly brightens into epiphany when another person decides to join in on the pushing. The boulder does not move. Most of the others are still oblivious with their leaning. It does not matter. They push, push, push. And, during intervals of recovery, look at each other in the face and grin with such appreciation and understanding that surely moves something more than boulders.

Then, a few others notice and…well….it could go either way. What do you think?

-Pat

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Reasons Behind Avoiding Foreplay

Hello. This is Pierce. After reading Mr Manly’s post and advice for relationships, it got me thinking. It got me asking. It got me fretting about how I haven’t been involved in an intimate relationship for an uncountable number of days. It’s no fault of the other party, that’s for sure. I can’t expect them to patiently wait until perhaps death for me to still not have made a decision.

That post got me thinking, especially after reading how so many readers were open and honest about their thoughts. So I will be as well. Because I want you to understand from my perspective, and perhaps some men out there also share these views. Women? I love you, I really do, but there’s a reason why I come across as I do, with all that hesitancy and reluctance.

The last many times, I have avoided having sex. This was due to remembrance of an anxiety-filled experience. I just couldn’t do it. Couldn’t make the commitment. Just stood there. And then the moment passed and was no more.

You see, way back when, when procrastination only encompassed most of my life, I actually played the part, all the way to the point of turning off the lights and getting under the covers. You know, the part when the teenagers watching television make sounds of disappointment as the screen goes dark leaving them only to wonder and imagine the rest of the love scene. Little did they know, when the lights went off, I pretty well shut if off as well.

My partner wanted more foreplay, extensive foreplay. Lots of women like that, right? Some even prefer it more than the direct act itself, and a few are even okay with just doing the foreplay. I refused. It may seem cold, heartless, uncreative, and selfish, but I hope women around the world will hear me out and understand my reasons. I love foreplay, but just couldn’t and, to this day, can’t. I love foreplay so much that, in fact, the intensity is unbearably enough to cause the ultimate release before part two. Am I weak? No stamina?

I’m afraid of foreplay because of premature you know. But I didn’t tell women. And it didn’t come across well physically and emotionally when the lights were turned off. This kind of worry has resulted in me totally putting off anything that even comes close to resembling intimate relations. I know I avoided eye contact on the train many times over this morning.

But I do wonder, and would like to put this question out for consideration and learning. May there be some women out there who feel flattered when small foreplay is enough to make me finish? Are there women out there who feel greater satisfaction with men who prefer to stop after foreplay and not do the sequel?
Instead of being a sign of weakness, I think it shows great potency to be able to achieve the ultimate sensual pleasure while both are fully clothed.

Anyways, now you can understand how all these thoughts have precluded me from being able to consider the sex as we know and love it. Again, I don’t mean any harm or hurt to women; it is just fear on my part. I hope you understand.

I guess the state I’m in now I wouldn’t have much problem converting to a monk, except for my thoughts. Monks, procrastination, sex – all would be okay, except for my thoughts.

(Another thought for another day: is procrastination a form of overextended foreplay that exhausts oneself into inability to perform the more important next act?)

-Pierce

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