Tag Archives: reflections

Reasons Behind Avoiding Foreplay

Hello. This is Pierce. After reading Mr Manly’s post and advice for relationships, it got me thinking. It got me asking. It got me fretting about how I haven’t been involved in an intimate relationship for an uncountable number of days. It’s no fault of the other party, that’s for sure. I can’t expect them to patiently wait until perhaps death for me to still not have made a decision.

That post got me thinking, especially after reading how so many readers were open and honest about their thoughts. So I will be as well. Because I want you to understand from my perspective, and perhaps some men out there also share these views. Women? I love you, I really do, but there’s a reason why I come across as I do, with all that hesitancy and reluctance.

The last many times, I have avoided having sex. This was due to remembrance of an anxiety-filled experience. I just couldn’t do it. Couldn’t make the commitment. Just stood there. And then the moment passed and was no more.

You see, way back when, when procrastination only encompassed most of my life, I actually played the part, all the way to the point of turning off the lights and getting under the covers. You know, the part when the teenagers watching television make sounds of disappointment as the screen goes dark leaving them only to wonder and imagine the rest of the love scene. Little did they know, when the lights went off, I pretty well shut if off as well.

My partner wanted more foreplay, extensive foreplay. Lots of women like that, right? Some even prefer it more than the direct act itself, and a few are even okay with just doing the foreplay. I refused. It may seem cold, heartless, uncreative, and selfish, but I hope women around the world will hear me out and understand my reasons. I love foreplay, but just couldn’t and, to this day, can’t. I love foreplay so much that, in fact, the intensity is unbearably enough to cause the ultimate release before part two. Am I weak? No stamina?

I’m afraid of foreplay because of premature you know. But I didn’t tell women. And it didn’t come across well physically and emotionally when the lights were turned off. This kind of worry has resulted in me totally putting off anything that even comes close to resembling intimate relations. I know I avoided eye contact on the train many times over this morning.

But I do wonder, and would like to put this question out for consideration and learning. May there be some women out there who feel flattered when small foreplay is enough to make me finish? Are there women out there who feel greater satisfaction with men who prefer to stop after foreplay and not do the sequel?
Instead of being a sign of weakness, I think it shows great potency to be able to achieve the ultimate sensual pleasure while both are fully clothed.

Anyways, now you can understand how all these thoughts have precluded me from being able to consider the sex as we know and love it. Again, I don’t mean any harm or hurt to women; it is just fear on my part. I hope you understand.

I guess the state I’m in now I wouldn’t have much problem converting to a monk, except for my thoughts. Monks, procrastination, sex – all would be okay, except for my thoughts.

(Another thought for another day: is procrastination a form of overextended foreplay that exhausts oneself into inability to perform the more important next act?)



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Bend Over and Kiss That Goodbye

We are appreciative of Sheri for taking time out of her busy life to share a very important second entry in her diary. I admire how humor is always a constant companion along her side when facing health challenges at a particular life stage. Her attitude and approach in learning from experience, and helping others through her story, is an inspiration for us all.

Thank you for your honesty and openness in allowing us to learn from your personal life of how procrastination can be a danger to health. Enjoy her post below and you can see more of her writing at her blog:


I’m pretty sure I just about procrastinated myself out of my life as I know it. I put off getting my Happy 50th Birthday Colonoscopy for a year and a half. I procrastinated long enough that my little polyp grew up to be a big polyp and maybe a tumor and maybe I’m lucky I didn’t put it off any longer. It might have saved my life. I know at this point it saved me from wearing a new fancy accessory in the form of a bag. I don’t really adapt that well to change so I don’t think changing my way of doing my daily duty would be all that fun. Sounds crass, but hey, after you’ve drank a gallon of colon lube and been investigated in places you’ve never had investigated, you get a little less demure.

My husband, being the anti-procrastinator, scheduled his 50 year checkup to fall the week after his 50th birthday. Maybe it makes him feel superior to be so organized. I just looked up at him in awe…while thinking of reasons I should put off having my colonoscopy done. I probably should try to emulate him a bit more…but as I’ve said, change ain’t easy for a chick like me…and I certainly wouldn’t want to prove him right.

I did give my dearly beloved a big thank you for nagging me for a year and a half. He and my best friend wouldn’t let it go. They told me I needed to get it done. They were right. I was wrong. Gosh, I hate saying I’m wrong…It’s a good thing it doesn’t happen very often…okay, it does, but I don’t usually admit it. That’s another thing I procrastinate about–admitting I’m wrong.

I don’t procrastinate when it comes to saying thank you. Thank you for saving my butt…literally and figuratively. Now I am the poster child for “Get ‘er done!” A colonoscopy could save someone you love. So, need a conversation opener? How about, “Have you had a colonoscopy recently?” or, “Seen any good colon scopes lately?” Push aside that procrastination tendency and go for it, you might be blessed you did. I sure was.



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Guilt and the Modern Day Diet

It is exciting to welcome the first diary entry from our guest author Sheri. You can read more of her work at her blog: http://disorganizedorganizer.wordpress.com/ 

It’s insightful to get another perspective on how someone deals with the demands of time and the mounting tasks and responsibilities that come along with it. In Sheri’s description below, though she describes it as a struggle, you will notice that she indeed got a lot done in her day. For procrastinating, that is still pretty productive. And through her writing, she always maintains her sense of humor and vibrancy. Enjoy her work below!

Okay, okay.  Thanks to Patrick’s post I am looking back at my meals today. Hmmm, let’s see, breakfast. Oh, yes, the hopping from here to there, answer phone, get dressed while eating, forgot to start the washer, water the dogs, and throw out a rotten apple sitting beside the toaster meal.  That was relaxing.  

What about lunch?  Well, my father made me a sandwich which I ate while working on his laptop to set up some shortcuts and correct some problems.  My mother was asking me questions about songs for her Senior Citizen Center gig with the Last Stand Band she plays with and of course the television was on.  I think I had chips with the sandwich…and something to drink…can’t really remember…Sure, a quiet time of bonding with some kind of ground meat sandwich, oops, that wasn’t what we’re looking for at meals.

Supper.  Hmmm, oh, we had company and my husband fried fish we caught the day before.  It was a last minute meal and I like to cook using the roll with the punches philosophy.  I whipped up some rice pilaf and a vegetable mixture.  My friend made the dip for the fish and attempted to clean the “contamination zone” that is my dining room table.  A few things were still on the table from our Mother’s Day meal.  She was there.  She knows I had the same piles earlier.  Of course the cook never has a very relaxing meal so my husband, cooking in the yard, and I were busy running around and filling trays and making sure our guests were enjoying the delicious walleye.  

So modern day life interferes with the fun of just sitting and relaxing with a good meal.  I’m gonna try harder…like the car rental place…and see if I can’t turn that contamination zone into a dining experience.  My goal:  check the table twice a day and make sure it is free of all stacks, unnecessary stuff and paper products not used in the consumption of food…yeah, I can do it.  Go, Sheri, go.  I think I’ll let the dogs keep the under side of the table slurped clean…that will save a few minutes.  Maybe if I smear a little peanut butter on it.


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