Tag Archives: relationships

The Inconclusive Dissection: Mind Half-Full or Half-Empty?

If we go on the premise that procrastinators think too much, then perhaps it’s reasonable to assume that my mind is really full. Well, better than empty, I guess? I guess! And, yes, I guess it could be a possible explanation as to why nothing tangible and concrete is coming out of my head. That’s because everything is so crammed inside, I guess!

Yes, my ideas are packed to the point of having no room to breathe or move, so they just stay within my mind and discuss among themselves. That is where all my stories are, I promise! And when they spend so long there, telling and retelling many variations over, they are already exhausted and left wanting in energy to escape. Furthermore, it feels as though the story has been told, we know the twists and turns, and feel as though the world should look inside to find out what we’ve done, instead of us always having to come out and show what we do. Understand? Understand!

I understand that I am probably deluding myself, but these thoughts are still true. If I think hard enough, I can save myself the step of publication. Save paper? But how do I convince people to take the plunge, to take that leap of faith, and just look inside my mind? To trust me? Trust me!

These were my thoughts during a dinner date in a restaurant with candles. Sitting across from me was an articulate, more good-looking that I deserve, attractive doctor, with experience. I sensed that that my luck may be changing and that it won’t be long before my mind starts opening up.

After a few sips of wine, and samplings of appetizer, I started getting a tingly sensation emanating from the inner portion of both stockingless legs underneath the table. I guess I just had a feeling when choosing what not to wear for the night. Just as he was proposing a toast to ‘I don’t know what’, I clanged his glass while debating within myself whether or not my partner is a surgeon or not. Admittedly, my relationship with him has not gotten deep enough yet for me to acquire this knowledge.

But, oh my, what if he were a surgeon? A surgeon! My imagination went wild in considering the possibilities. And I downed my glass of wine with sumptuous enthusiasm and determination. Would he have the tools and the requisite skills to dissect me? I couldn’t giggle outwardly at such a delicious thought so, instead, I crossed my legs so my skirt wouldn’t be as much of an intrusive censor, and I flexed and extended my ankle continuously, as if to communicate that my heart was jumping up and down with joy? Unequivocal joy!

If there was any way that he could do a professional dissection of me, but preferably with a particular emphasis on the artistic, then finally, at long last, he could really, literally, open up my mind and the world can see the unadulterated stories I have completed!  They’ll know I haven’t been lying all this time. They’ll trust me that I’ve been hard at work!

I suddenly felt incredibly sexy at that moment, more sexy that I’ve felt in my entire life. I didn’t know how much was left of my legs under the table at that point. With all the gyrations going on, I wouldn’t be surprised if I had exercised away all the skin and left them see-through. Oh, poor doctor, I could see it in his eyes, and his focus on his steak, that he had no clue what was going on under there!

I watched intently how he cut up the steak, savoring enough time to allow the juices to bubble over, so he could observe the satisfaction before making it disappear within his mouth, thereby intensifying the the senses at least twofold. That’s a good sign. Maybe he is a surgeon? A surgeon! The thought of him opening me up with such care and focus, like he did that steak, made me lose a button somewhere in my skirt.

I was so ready, I was so much in the mood for desire and intimacy. So, I quickly apologized to him for having to leave early and cut short our dinner together. I declined his offer for a ride, left him alone to finish the rest of his steak (as a surgeon should definitely not leave an operation half completed), and ran all the way home in such a mad rush that there was barely a trace of clothing on me when I arrived.

I have to work harder now. Think harder, deeper, even more intensely than ever before. Patience, my thoughts, patience, as I will bring more characters into an already tight space. But, patience, because now I know that you will soon all get to see the light of day. We must think together on this and get as much inside as possible before the surgeon arrives? Promise me that when that time comes for me to have an operation, you kids will not be hiding somewhere inside. All this work and to have him open me up to find nothing? Nothing!

-Dawn

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Reasons Behind Avoiding Foreplay

Hello. This is Pierce. After reading Mr Manly’s post and advice for relationships, it got me thinking. It got me asking. It got me fretting about how I haven’t been involved in an intimate relationship for an uncountable number of days. It’s no fault of the other party, that’s for sure. I can’t expect them to patiently wait until perhaps death for me to still not have made a decision.

That post got me thinking, especially after reading how so many readers were open and honest about their thoughts. So I will be as well. Because I want you to understand from my perspective, and perhaps some men out there also share these views. Women? I love you, I really do, but there’s a reason why I come across as I do, with all that hesitancy and reluctance.

The last many times, I have avoided having sex. This was due to remembrance of an anxiety-filled experience. I just couldn’t do it. Couldn’t make the commitment. Just stood there. And then the moment passed and was no more.

You see, way back when, when procrastination only encompassed most of my life, I actually played the part, all the way to the point of turning off the lights and getting under the covers. You know, the part when the teenagers watching television make sounds of disappointment as the screen goes dark leaving them only to wonder and imagine the rest of the love scene. Little did they know, when the lights went off, I pretty well shut if off as well.

My partner wanted more foreplay, extensive foreplay. Lots of women like that, right? Some even prefer it more than the direct act itself, and a few are even okay with just doing the foreplay. I refused. It may seem cold, heartless, uncreative, and selfish, but I hope women around the world will hear me out and understand my reasons. I love foreplay, but just couldn’t and, to this day, can’t. I love foreplay so much that, in fact, the intensity is unbearably enough to cause the ultimate release before part two. Am I weak? No stamina?

I’m afraid of foreplay because of premature you know. But I didn’t tell women. And it didn’t come across well physically and emotionally when the lights were turned off. This kind of worry has resulted in me totally putting off anything that even comes close to resembling intimate relations. I know I avoided eye contact on the train many times over this morning.

But I do wonder, and would like to put this question out for consideration and learning. May there be some women out there who feel flattered when small foreplay is enough to make me finish? Are there women out there who feel greater satisfaction with men who prefer to stop after foreplay and not do the sequel?
Instead of being a sign of weakness, I think it shows great potency to be able to achieve the ultimate sensual pleasure while both are fully clothed.

Anyways, now you can understand how all these thoughts have precluded me from being able to consider the sex as we know and love it. Again, I don’t mean any harm or hurt to women; it is just fear on my part. I hope you understand.

I guess the state I’m in now I wouldn’t have much problem converting to a monk, except for my thoughts. Monks, procrastination, sex – all would be okay, except for my thoughts.

(Another thought for another day: is procrastination a form of overextended foreplay that exhausts oneself into inability to perform the more important next act?)

-Pierce

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Cheating On Each Other (With Each Other)

Do you remember the story of a couple who broke up from maybe half a year ago or even longer? (maybe from Bosnia, but I can’t quite remember) Okay, maybe it’s ridiculous of me to ask such a question to strain our memories on something that was far, far away from major news. I couldn’t find reference of the story when doing a database search of newspapers so, after reading this post, if anyone can point me toward a source, I would greatly appreciate it.

What’s the story? I heard it very briefly on the radio while driving home from work. I wanted to say something, I wanted to react, but at that time I did not have a blog, so my hands were tied. I yelled, but nothing happened.

So, my apologies for bringing back old news. For some reason something seemingly so trivial has stuck with me all this time. The story involves a couple – man and wife. Their relationship apparently was not going well, so they started listening to their inner temptations and considering other options. That means being open to meeting other people in secret.

The husband started an affair with a woman over the internet. The wife started an affair with a man over the internet. They both started to learn and get to know their new partners. As the respective online chatting increasingly became more intimate, face-to-face meetings could not be resisted and were eventually inevitable. The husband set up time and location for his appointment. The wife set up time and location for her appointment. When the time for the big meeting arrived, both the husband and wife reacted in total disbelief and shock. The husband saw his wife standing at the prearranged secret location. The wife, of course, saw here husband at her prearranged secret location. They have been, in essence, having an affair with each other all along!

The radio reported that the story ended sadly, with the two of them deciding on divorce after realizing they were cheating on each other. However, if you allow me to be an armchair marriage counselor for a few minutes, can I have a license to interpret the situation more positively and maybe suggest how the marriage can be strengthening rather than breaking apart?

Out of all the possible women to meet online, all over the world, the man ends up getting reacquainted with his wife. Out of all the possible men to meet online, the woman just happens to meet her husband. What are the chances? Instead of focusing on how they cheated on each other, how about looking at it from the point of view that they were cheating with each other? Having unlimited opportunities to meet someone, anyone, they ended up meeting each other again. Can it be like the Cornflakes cereal commercial of appreciating the taste of something familiar for the very first time again?

After all the searching, the testing, the experimenting, the adventures, what they ended looking for was what they already had. If it were me, I couldn’t script a romance better than that.

-Patrick Law

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From Greetings to Spending Resiliency to Losing Pictures

To prevent procrastination, two minutes maximum to write on each topic. Let’s go, go, go!

Absent Greetings

Ever come across someone who said ‘Hello, how are you?’ Of course you did; almost everyday, many times over. With these common greetings how many of them are said with deep sincerity, feeling, and concern? Or are many of them simply out of habit, repetition, and automation…nothing more than exhalation.

Here’s a test we can use to examine the authenticity of a greeting. When you answer and reciprocate, ‘Fine, how are you?’, do you get another response? Today I did that numerous times and got absolutely no further response. That means the person did their perfunctory greeting without real thought and was not really intent on listening to my response. I’m often guilty of this as well. We often focus more on what we speak, and when the words are done, we kind of let go of our attention a bit, as if our major work is done.

Am I Resilient When I Spend?

This morning when listening to the business news on the radio, I heard an analyst comment on the current US situation. His voice was full of admiration when summarizing the latest report about how consumer spending exceeded expectations despite being in a depressed economy. His tone was very complimentary, almost encouraging consumers as ‘resilient’ when they spend.

Spending can be beneficial to stimulate the economy, but can it also be detrimental to immediately use up a portion of your tax rebates? It’s almost as if in any 50/50 situation, the message is to spend, and when we do, it gets reinforced. Are we too easily spending without enough consideration?

I am not sure on a broader economic level what is best for an entire country but, after hearing this morning’s report, about the ‘resilient’ consumer, how come I don’t feel very resilient, or comfortable, after giving some of my dollars to contribute to the latest positive retail report. I know, I know, I’m such a small speck in the ocean, but…

Deleting Pictures or Deleting Yourself?

Today I overheard someone in utter panic when she accidentally pressed a wrong button, or function, and erased all of the vacation pictures in the digital camera. She then yelled, “Oh my God! My entire vacation is gone! I lost my whole vacation!”

I didn’t say anything out of consideration, but I was very worried. I know she was just referring to her pictures, but the emotions and level of panic sounded like she didn’t go on vacation at all, which was of course not true. Pictures are nice, maybe even very, very important, but nothing can substitute what we have in our minds, memories, and hearts.

Maybe if she kept a journal, she can share that? Or start a journal to write out her memories so they can be passed along? Or start a recording about her verbal thoughts and reflections on her experiences? In this age, we sometimes are almost convinced that if we don’t have hard evidence of what we did, then it wasn’t authentic or as real.

-Patrick Law

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